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To Buy a Birthday Present

Mark: What are you getting Jim for his birthday?

Leslie: I don’t know yet.

Mark: You can always get him a shirt.

Leslie: But I got him one last year.

Mark: Oh, that’s right. Let me think.

Leslie: I want to get him something different.

Mark: How about a briefcase?

Leslie: Good idea! His briefcase is getting old.

Mark: And it’s something he’ll use every day.

Leslie: Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?

Telephone

Mr Palmer: Hello?

Sue: Hello, is Mary there?

Mr Palmer: I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.

Sue: Oh…is this 685-5290?

Mr Palmer: No, it’s not.

Sue: I’m sorry.

Mr Palmer: That’s OK.

A Light Eater

Frances: Would you like anything else? You haven’t eaten very much.

Grace: No, thanks. I’m already full.

Frances: Oh, come on. Have some more.

Grace: No, I really can’t. I’ve never been much of an eater.

Frances: Have some coffee then.

Grace: That would be nice.

Frances: How do you take it?

Grace: With sugar please, no cream.

Frances: Here you are.

Grace: Thank you.

A Nice Flat (1)

Agent: This is a nice flat.

Jane: Mmm…

Agent: There’s a living room. There’s a kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom, and there’s a bidet!

Jane: What is a bidet?

Agent: It’s like a toilet, only better, I’ll let you figure it out!

Jane: Well, none of my friends have a bidet, and even if I don’t know what it is, they will be jealous when I tell them!

A Nice Flat (2)

Agent: Well, here’s the kitchen.

Jane: Hmm…It’s very small.

Agent: Yes, it isn’t very large, but there’s a cooker and a fridge. There are some cupboards under the sink. Jane: Are there any plates?

Agent: Yes, there are.

Jane: Good. Are there any chairs in here?

Agent: No, there aren’t, but there are some in the living room.

Jane: Hmm. There aren’t any glasses!

Agent: Yes, there are! They’re in the cupboard.

Jane: …and …er… where’s the toilet?

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