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Smoking

Tony: Do you smoke? I’ve never known that. When did you start smoking?

Jane: I started smoking when I was eighteen.

Tony: So, how long have you been a smoker?

Jane: I have smoked for twenty years.

Tony: How many cigarettes do you smoke a day?

Jane: I smoke two packs of cigarettes a day.

Tony: Have you ever tried to quit?

Jane: Yes, I have quit twice: once when I was expecting my baby, Paul, and the other time when I had a bad sore throat. But I had a hard time.

Tony: If you knew what it was doing to your lungs, you would think twice about it!

A Death

Martha: Did you hear about the Smith family?

Charles: No, what happened?

Martha: Mrs. Smith passed away this morning.

Charles: That’s a shame. What from?

Martha: Heart attack, I think.

Charles: That’s a terrible thing.

Martha: Yes. Mrs Smith went into hospital last night by ambulance and died this morning.

Charles: Had she been suffering from heart disease?

Martha: Yeah. Mrs Smith had it for five years before she died.

Charles: Did they try surgery?

Martha: She had two operations, but they weren’t effective.

Charles: I feel sorry for Mr. Smith.

A Birth

Martha: Have you heard about the good news in the Wallace family?

Charles: No, I’ve been out of town.

Martha: Mrs Wallace went into the hospital last night and gave birth to a baby girl seven hours later.

Charles: That’s very good. But they already have a little girl, don’t they?

Martha: No, they have a five-year-old boy.

Charles: So they wanted a girl this time, right?

Martha: Yes, they wanted a girl for a long time.

Charles: Was it natural childbirth?

Martha: No, she had to have a caesarean.

A Coincidence

Timothy: Teresa! What a surprise! What are you doing here?

Teresa: Timothy! I don’t believe it! I’m going to see my daughter. She will marry this weekend. How about you?

Timothy: I’m going to visit my parents. When is your daughter’s wedding?

Teresa: Sunday.

Timothy: Wow! This Sunday is the 45th wedding anniversary of their wedding, too.

Teresa: This is a surprise! Anyway, where is your train leaving from?

Timothy: My train leaves from Platform 3, over there.

Teresa: How long will you…

Announcer: Now leaving from Platform 3, train for Vancouver.

Timothy: That’s my train. I have to run. Sorry we didn’t have more time to talk.

Teresa: That’s OK. I’ll see you when you get back. Have a good time, and say congratulations to your parents!

How have you been?

Grace: Raymond!

Raymond: Oh, hi, Grace! How have you been?

Grace: Good! I hear you have been to Toronto for a few days.

Raymond: Yes. I just got back yesterday.

Grace: Did you have a nice visit?

Raymond: Really nice. It was very good going around downtown and shopping. And I saw the Toronto Blue Jays game at Skydome. It seems that Toronto is a very exciting city.

My brother Stanley was there, too. You’ve met Stanley, haven’t you?

Grace: Sure. I met him when he was here in Hamilton last year. What’s he doing these days? Still teaching baseball?

Raymond: Yes, as matter of fact, he just began to teach elementary school.

Grace: Great. How’s everything with his kids?

Raymond: Have you met my nieces?

Grace: Yes, they visited you once in the summer, didn’t they?

Raymond: Right. They’re both fine.

Grace: I haven’t seen them in a long time. They must be really big.

Raymond: Well, they will come over this Christmas. Let’s have a great Christmas party together.

Grace: That’s a good idea.

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